Well hello again. It's been so crazy in my world these days, I don't know where to begin. First things first, I am so sorry I haven't posted since March to which I just feel led to say that apparently I need to get a little better at this blogging thing if I am going to keep it up! For our 1st Anniversary we went to Charleston, which of course, we had a blast. We did absolutely nothing! When we go we stay with my aunt and uncle (my mom's sister) who are retired and literally their life consists of lounging and pretty much, well that's it!, lounging. Sounds so tough, huh? HAHA Well, my dear Uncle served as a proud American in the U.S. Navy for 30 years and now has some very difficult issues with his health. But you know what? You would never even know it. He has the best attitude, never complains, always smiling and is always listening. My Uncle Danny and Aunt Beverly have the sweetest love story. We are so thankful to have shared all the memories and times that we have and hope for many more to come! Here is a view from their back porch in the evening....jealous?
So, since March, let's see what all has happened. (scratching head) Tons. I really think God has a huge sense of humor. He teaches me lessons in some of the most awkward and just to be honest, plain weird scenarios, but He gets His point across! I guess that's really all that matters. I never thought I would see the day when I was younger that I would look back and wish I could go running back to then but boy was I ever wrong. Depression has been pretty tough these last few months for one reason or another. Whether is be financially, job related, friendship relationships(mending or ending), and I really could just go on and on and on and on but I know you get the point. I guess I just thought when I got married that everything would just really be all hugs and kisses because we had made comments and decisions to try and make it the best possible. HAHA I don't think I can laugh hard enough at that decision because boy was I wrong. Marriage is hard. Period. Don't get me wrong now, I love my husband and would do anything in my power for him but geez louise. Hard. The other day in the salon a sweet elderly lady who has been married for well over 60+ years named Priscilla, came in for her usual 1 o'clock appointment on Thursday and for some reason she was just mad at her little sweet husband. As she sat there getting her shampoo and 'modern' set as she calls it(shampoo/blowdry/flatiron), she said, "Honey? How long have you and your fella been married?" I replied, "A year and 2 months on the 29th of May." and with as straight-faced and stern as she could manage said, "Sometimes I just want to eat him up and other days I wished I would have!" I couldn't help but laugh out loud! She is just too cute. I know how she feels but if she is still saying that after 60+ years I'm in big trouble. With God as our center and main focus though we've got this! Our first kid, Lucy, is doing well. I will share her more in another post but for now here she is:
Many have written in for my FB hair tips page and I just want to say "Thank you!!!" from the bottom of my heart for all the encouragement, prayers and help everyone has shared with me in sharing and liking my page. It really does mean a lot! As far as the salon goes, I'm in a good place now. Exactly where I need to be. Every horror story and nightmare now makes total sense of why and what I had to go through them at this point. Which I really guess that's all that matters! It really does make a huge difference though when you work in an amazing, loving, sweet, caring, home-like setting/mood. The Lord reveals more in every day. Please keep sharing the page and telling more and more to 'Like' it, please?!
So in talkin' about life and transitions, God has revealed himself in so many ways recently. To just name a few, a while back I had a difficult relationship with someone, who I choose to keep nameless, but I know some of the reasons the relationship was strained but still at this point can't figure out what/why the acquaintance is distant. Only time will tell, nonetheless, I had come to a point in my life that needed refuge and a drastic makeover...quick! It's funny how if for nothing else God puts people in places for a specific conversation in your life and maybe that's just it. The only purpose in your life was for that divine meeting and opportunity to share a story to help encourage and help you through a difficult struggle in your life. This particular friend I had seen unfold many layers of life from many areas in their life and just made it look so easy. I had really been burdened about talking to them about my situation but because of our past was a little apprehensive. Everytime something new would come up, I would see their face. Yes...this got old. So I broke down and wrote them. Asking what seemed like a million stupid questions but wanting so eagerly to receive a reply. To my surprise, I got it. Truly this wasn't a conversation to be written out but rather spoken of in person. Still considering the circumstances, I've read their reply countless times and am so thankful it's written out to remember. To just read whenever I want. One day I pray that relationship can be so much more but only time will tell. Well, through their response I have changed many things in my life. As many know, I was raised in a Christian home, brought up in church etc. You know...the ones who were more involved in church activities than with their family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with growing up like that. It just isn't helpful if you don't stay in it. Moving has helped me tremendously with becoming independent and my own person. Adam pushes me everyday to be the best ME that I can be. It wasn't until reviewing my life that I realized I was my own worst critic. In my walk with the Lord at this point I feel like is at it's worst. There are so many judgmental 'christians' it's pathetic. I worried more about what others thought of me and my life than what God thought of it. I'm getting down to what He wants from me now. You see I wanted to impress others with material things when I should have been more concerned with what Jesus would have me do. Not anymore. I'm changing. I grew up with some of the most close-minded, judgmental, criticizing, back-stabbing, negative, unloving, etc. (I'm being nice because I really could go on.) people in my life and didn't even have a clue. Do you know where these people were? Church. Yep. That place where everyone should be accepted but most are rejected? That place where everyone should be loved but most are made to feel unloved. That place where it should be open arms and it's more like 'my 4 and no more'. They talk more about your business than you even knew existed. Mostly it's all untrue but how would they know? They are always more concerned with spreading the story than checking the facts. So sad and devastating to a girl who used to think that's all life was about. Wake-up call. No one can represent me better than me. I am to be only concerned with God, my husband, then self, then family/friends. I have very few "friends." That's another lesson that I won't go into right now. What man thinks of me doesn't matter in the end. It doesn't. The quicker you find this out, the better off you will be. Trust me. Love yourself. If you don't why should anyone else try? Be different. Now can you see how God has been a little busy with me? He's shown me that it's not all about being how many ministries I'm involved in or how many solos I have in the choir or who did what to so-n-so. It's about loving others for who they are and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with everyone. Before I criticize something/someone, I'm learning to look into their life and see why. The reason most girls end up in abusive relationships is because they want attention and that's sometimes all they know. Boys are so macho because of insecurities of failing and being laughed at as clown. Children show out to get attention. Who cares what you're dressed like? Thank you for coming to church! Can you believe they are sleeping together? I didn't know you were in the bed too?. Just Stop. In the end you are the one running your mouth and spreading lies and last I checked the Bible said 'no sin is greater than another.' You gossiping is no better than them sleeping. Pray for them. Pray for yourself. Support one another with love and compassion. Show others Jesus Christ with a silent walk. I want others to see Him living through me without me having to say a word. A wise man once told me "Everyone is an opportunity so make everyone worth your while." You just never know who you can meet!
So now to conclude my speech, for the next couple of days I'll be spending time with sweet family and friends in fellowship of revival. I truly pray that something will be said or done for the Glory of the Lord. That many souls can be saved and many decisions will be made. I'm so blessed to have the life I have. God has been so wonderful to me and I don't deserve His mercy and grace but am so thankful He love me enough to show otherwise. Please pray for this upcoming week for everyone involved to be in their places in time of service. I hope to write again soon and thanks for reading!
Carmen
